Falling in

The day that changed everything was early in the spring: a time for new life to begin.

After a month in Second Life, I felt I was getting the hang of it. I had explored many remarkable lands. I had a beautiful avatar and a sexy, fashionable wardrobe. I was becoming proficient at flirting, and attracted the attention of many men. I had bought property, my own private house on the beach, where I entertained friends. In contrast to my reserved and somewhat solitary first life, the libertine version of me was having a great time in Second Life. It was uncomplicated fun.

One day, while sunbathing on my beach, my eyes were drawn to a man looking at a nearby home. I remember thinking: wow. This guy was definitely in a different class from the casual dates I had. It wasn’t just his muscular shape. Every detail of his avatar’s appearance was carefully crafted; the best quality and design, yet relaxed and informal. His long dark hair fell casually around aquiline features, framing the bluest of eyes… oh, those eyes. They seemed to twinkle with a smile.

His name was Jonah. He noticed me too. I wish I could remember his first words to me. I’m not sure it mattered. I was so dazzled, he could have read from the phone book and I would have been enthralled. I do remember that he put me right at ease. He was friendly, flirty, fun… and oh, so sexy. We only spoke for a few minutes, but when he’d gone, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Before long, Jonah returned, and we became friends. When I sat relaxing on my beach, Jonah would drop by to sit and chat. He was different from any man I’d ever met, Second Life or first, and I was fascinated. He cared about the visual expression of Second Life. It mattered to him to have an avatar that was good looking, well dressed and well groomed. A proficient builder and designer, he took pleasure in his beautiful home and every detail of furnishing, landscaping and decorating it. He loved the virtual world, loved to play in it, loved to create beauty. His creativity took my breath away. He was charming, funny, affectionate and smart. I found his personality intoxicating: the soul of an artist, with a relaxed, self-confident masculinity, an appealing blend of tenderness and strength that made me go weak in the knees.

What angel sent you to me? I asked him one day. He just laughed.

I think I would have yielded to him any time he wished, but Jonah took his time, and courted me; a long seduction that gradually built desire to a fever pitch. We enjoyed sparkling evenings in a starlit ballroom, and intimate slow dancing on his veranda. There were passionate kisses in a secret cave, under a waterfall cascading into a rocky pool. We sailed across vast oceans, with the wind in our hair and the sound of the salt spray around us. We explored Second Life, and we explored each other. We cuddled on a beach blanket beside a fire, talking long into moonlit nights, growing ever closer, ever deeper. When my desire had reached such intensity that I thought I would explode, Jonah finally took me. Then I discovered this gifted man’s greatest talent. I had indulged in online sex before, but never had I experienced anyone who could do what he did. Urgent couplings gradually lengthened into an extended feast of pleasure, as we spent every available moment together. Dizzy with happiness, I realized that I was in love.

Next: Real »

Living and loving in Second Life

What is it to love someone in Second Life®? Is it real? Or just a fantasy? Does the SL environment, with its alts and animations, affect how we relate to each other? Where is the line between role playing and deceit, privacy and honesty? Is there a desirable balance between fantasy and authenticity in SL relationships? And how hard is true submission… is it even possible in this context?

The world hardly needs yet one more Second Life blog. And I do not profess to be an expert with all the answers. I have no plans to pontificate with any sort of authority. Do I have anything worthwhile to say? I don’t know. I do have questions… and my own experience. So please consider this as nothing more — or less — than a personal reflection on what is, for me, an experience filled with intrigue, heartbreak, healing and grace, dizzying in its possibilities, and breathtaking in its dark beauty.

Next: Relationships »