In loving memory of Elizabeth Rofanui, 1977-2016
In loving memory of Elizabeth Rofanui, 1977-2016
There are many different words for “Love” in the Greek language. Eros, Agape, Philia and other Greek words hold nuances and shades of meaning, attempting to capture this most enigmatic of emotions.
We talk about Love a lot. I don’t know for sure, but I’m guessing that Love is responsible for the vast majority of words ever written by the human race, in the form of poems, plays, scripts, letters, stories, social media, emails, blogs, chats, song lyrics and more.
Love is proved in deeds. Not words.
Yes, there are many words about Love. But no matter how eloquent those words may be, no matter how inspiring, tender, uplifting, intimate or cherished, one truth remains:
Love is NOT a word.
If you want to know Love, don’t look to what someone says. Look to what they do. Anyone can say, “I love you,” but the only way you will know whether or not it’s true is by their actions. Love is proved in deeds. Not words.
Love is helping someone move, packing and carrying heavy stuff.
Love is emptying your checking account and maxing out your credit card to help a friend in an emergency.
Love is giving someone a ride when they don’t have a car.
Love is fixing comfort food when you know your partner is weary in body and spirit.
Love is standing with a friend as they try to change their life, supporting them and not letting them fall. Even if that means you have to nag them to make sure.
Love is standing with them even if they do fall… and loving them anyway.
Love is speaking hard truth to someone who needs to hear it.
Love can be as simple as a smile and an affectionate touch when someone needs it.
Love is honoring what’s important to your friend even if it’s not important to you.
There are many other examples but I think you have the idea.
Love is not a word. Love is an action.
I am blessed. I have a lot of love in my life. To those who love me… thank you. I will do my best to show you that I love you, too.
Happy Valentine’s Day! xoxo
Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. –1 John 3:18
A long time ago, in a sim far, far away,
Walter took Camryn as his submissive.
Nine years have passed since that day.
The Force is strong with this couple!
Master, may the Love be with you, always!
Happy 9th Anniversary, Master! Thank you for 9 fabulous years!
A news article I read today — the topic of which is not germane — reminded me of an observation.
I have observed that people who have everything often find it impossible to be content with what they have.
Conversely, it seems that those who have little are much more likely to feel and express gratitude for whatever they do receive.
An old proverb says, “The sated appetite spurns honey, but to a ravenous appetite even the bitter is sweet.”
Right now, for example, I am grateful simply to be on the internet so that I can write this blog. We take connectivity for granted… until we don’t have it.
I am fortunate.
Yes. I am a strong, intelligent, secure, capable, boringly normal woman who is in a D/s relationship. Get over it, already.
Do not for a moment imagine that I have low self-esteem. I own who I am, I am humble about my challenges (we all have some), and I am proud of my gifts, abilities and accomplishments.
Do not imagine that I cannot recognize spite and petty jealousy when I see it.
Do not call me a doormat. I am independent and self-sufficient and there is only -one- person who gets to tell me what to do.
Do not call me weak. My way of life requires a reserve of inner strength you only wish you had.
Do not call me passive. I made a carefully considered decision, of my own free will, with clarity of mind, heart and conscience. Our life is a mutual, consensual choice.
Do not call me a bimbo. I have exquisite taste and I don’t wander around dressed like a hooker. My sex life is as private as yours, and probably no kinkier.
And p.s. It’s none of your business anyway.
I have been given the gift of submission, the freedom to surrender, the grace to trust, the privilege to love.
If that bothers you, I’m not the one with the problem.
Everyone should be so lucky as me.
I had occasion to pass along this poem to a friend, and in so doing, discovered that the author has revised it slightly. I thought it a good occasion to reprise my blog post from three years ago, with the updated text. Enjoy.
It is a sad fact of life that “no good deed goes unpunished.”
Perhaps you have done a kindness by helping someone in need, as Androcles removed the thorn from the lion’s paw. But for every Androcles, whose lion repaid his kindness, there are ten who are attacked by the one they tried to help.
Some good Samaritans get so discouraged when this happens that they just give up, and stop helping others. If our motivation in doing kindness is to get a reward—even the reward of gratitude—we often will be disappointed.
Instead, we do kind things because that is the person we want to be. Do it for ourselves. Do it for our sense of self worth, our self respect. Do it for one’s own sake.
In his 1968 booklet, “The Silent Revolution,” Kent Keith advised, “give of your time and effort because you care and want to give, not because you are expecting anything in return… Do things because you believe in them, and the simple satisfaction of having achieved them will be enough.”
He goes on to admit that helping others often results in being attacked and mistreated by those you are trying to help. But his response was not disappointment. Instead, he proposed “Ten Paradoxical Commandments,” that rang so true even Mother Teresa posted them on the wall of her orphanage.
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
We show kindness to a lot of people on Littlefield Grid. We give of ourselves without any expectation of reward or profit. Sometimes, our kindness is repaid with gratitude. But that’s not why we do it. We extend kindness because that’s who we want to be.
Sometimes, we are repaid with thoughtlessness; and, on a few rare occasions, hurtfulness from the very people we helped. Thankfully, we have some terrific folks in our community, and that rarely happens. When it does, we could be resentful. But we aren’t. We keep right on extending kindness. And we always will.
We do it anyway.
Eight years ago today, Master, you gave me your collar, and in that moment I knew infinite joy. I am yours permanently, to infinity and beyond! I love you Master 🙂
(The background photo: “infinity room” mirrored art installation by Yayoi Kusama 2009. The artist intended it to symbolize eternal life; to me it captures my unending happiness as yours, stretching from that day eight years ago, to infinity and beyond!)